Guiding Light

Guiding Light - 11 x 14in oil on canvas - US Private Collection

Have you ever had an epiphanic moment when it seems like thousands of seemingly random moments and events all coalesce into a greater vision and purpose more beautiful and meaningful than you could have ever dreamed of?

This happened to me recently and I'm still processing the vision to form words adequate enough to describe something that has me so utterly delighted, excited and just a wee bit daunted all the same time!

For as long as I can remember I've had a dream, a vision I've wanted to bring to fruition: to build a beautiful, healing creative retreat in an awe-inspiring location. A place for folks to explore and discover beauty, inspiration and healing while developing creative vision and skills... and so, so much more..  Long ago and far away now, I came close to realising that dream, only to lose it all when truth was distorted for profit. Since then my journey has taken me thousands of miles across oceans and wilderness through challenges that brought me to my knees and broke me in ways I never would have believed possible. For years I struggled to understand why. Until now.

Since waking to a shocking realization that much of my early programming was chock full of toxic distortion, confusion and manipulation, there was little choice but to trust gut instinct and a quiet internal voice that has compelled me ever onward and around the globe in a search for authentic love, light and truth.

This journey has taken me through all kinds of dark and scary places, and yet just at the darkest most confusing moments, afraid even to trust my loyal internal compass - some glimmer of hope, a serendipitous synchronicity, and ultimately a growing sense of gratitude would light the way forward again. 

All rivers flow to the ocean, and in hindsight I'm beginning to see how so many seemingly random paths stumbled upon, so many choices made, often amidst fervent opposition or fear, have nevertheless given me more than I could have ever hoped for, learned or acquired through more conventional roads, studies or means.

I'd prefer to think I courageously jumped off that cliff with no safety net and somehow learned to fly on the way down. Truth be told, I think I bounced several times, hit bottom, shattered into a thousand pieces, and died a death or two...  But hey! The falling stopped when I hit the ground and I'm delighted I'm still here to tell the story - because it's a story full of inspiration and enlightenment; and the kind of hope, healing and growth that ultimately leads to joyful, fulfilling endings. It's the kind of story I'm fully intending will ultimately light a way or two for other folks finding themselves stepping off a cliffs edge, or stumbling along their own rocky roads in the dark.

The most breathtaking views from a mountain top are worth every determined step along dangerous, steep inclines. Ultimately I'm truly thankful for all that I have seen, discovered and learned. I'm beyond grateful for every snippet of wisdom and skill, every quantum of courage, compassion, strength and capacity I've discovered and accumulated on this narrow, rocky trail. In all these regards I feel have a wealth indeed greater than I could ever imagined - and the kind of wealth I'll be needing every scrap of for the next exciting chapter soon to follow....

It's time now. Time to rebuild the vision of a lifetime, only this time with a solid foundation of courage, confidence, strength, skill and wisdom I never would have had, had I not leaped into an abyss or two without a safety net. 

Images: from "Guiding Light" Series

© C J Elsip 2019 All rights reserved